At home in “New” York

There’s a way in which New York welcomed me. I tried to not read too much into it, but it’s hard to not feel that this city has been intent on ensuring I feel right at home in this strange land.

Settling in New York

I moved to New York on the 21st of May, 2022. I am still refiguring my steps and footing in this new land. It’s been a shock in every way, both personally and professionally.

I was looking for a change, and I am grateful that I did get a change. I got an entirely new life.

I was a very anxious about this change. I am usually very determinate – I either love or hate a place. Considering I have to live and work here for a while, I was hopeful that I would at the very least be able to tolerate, or better yet like it.

It was my seventh day in the city. Seven is my lucky number. I arrived in New York on the 21st (a multiple of seven).

It was my seventh day in the city – the 28th (a multiple of seven). I received a text from her – the owner of the apartment I was subletting.

“There’s flowers delivered for me in the lobby. May you please pick them up for me?”

At the time, I was feeling fairly exhausted, and not particularly up to the task. I told her I would pick them up when I got the chance, and went on about with my work and day.

When my day had slowed down a bit, I went to the nearest grocery to pick up some Fajitas. On my way back, I decided to ask the doorman for the flowers.

I was pleasantly surprised by the biggest bouqet of red roses. I carried the roses up to apartment, and put them at the centre of her dining table. These flowers had nothing to do with me, and I was not trying to make them about me.

She asked me who the roses were from, and I was susprised to hear that she was not aware who they were from. I checked the box, and I could not find any signed note.

A little later, I realised the flowers might die if I do not take care of them as she was away for a few days, and decided to embrace this moment and give the flowers some loving. I asked her if I should put the flowers in a vase, and she was happy that I offered. When I opened the box, I found the note – a note from the florist to her.

It started to sink in, that though these flowers were for her, they were also about me. It was not just chance that the flowers surprise was delivered to her home on the week she was away – the week that I was present.

The Universe is very much aware that I use flowers as a way of determining where and when I am wanted. What are the odds of such a random coincidence?

I took this as a note from the Universe to me, a message that though this was a new chapter for me, I was welcome, I am wanted, and I will be alright in “New” York.

I took the roses out of the vase they were in, cut them at the base, and put them in fresh water. I added some flower food, and the sight of them just made me feel right at home.

There’s something about flowers that sits just right with my soul.

Life Currently

I have so much gratitude for the ways in which transition has been smooth for me.

There’s something about this chapter in particular that is much different from all the ways in which I have lived my life. For the first time, I feel that I am living my life for me – that it is no longer a performance for an audience. I do what makes me happy, and stay away from what does not.

When I was deciding on things like where to stay, and how to make my home, I wanted it to feel good to me, and not care about what people thought of it. I feel this is the most perfect way to adult, and I am grateful to be able to do it in this way.

So let me gently overupdate you about what I have been and are up to in my life currently:

Planning: A trip to Boston. I was invited by a client / friend, and I am super excited to explore more of the US.

Making: Peace with the transition and all the oncoming changes.

Creating: A new life I can grow to call my own.

Eating: A lot of pasta! Easy meal, and perfect for this season.

Drinking: A lot of tea! Juice costs (and tastes) somehow in this city. Tea has become my best friend again!

Reading: Reports, reports, reports. And a lot of academic literature. Grad school struggles.

Currently Reading: “What is Digital Transformation?” by The Enterprises Project

Writing: My thesis! Or at least trying. In all of the changes, my grad school journey is suffering the most! I was so intent on graduating this month, but life happened, and I have barely had time to work on my thesis.

Playing: It cool.

Wanting: A lot of house decor and functional elements for my house. Obsessed, and Amazon Prime is just everything!

Needing: My car. I miss her so much. She represented so much of my autonomy, but I know I could never be able to use her here. That still is gonna take a lot of accepting.

Regretting: Nothing at the moment. I believe I have made a lot of peace with a lot of things.

Wishing: For peace of mind.

Enjoying: A peaceful state. I do love my peace.

Loving: My new life. I more than like it. I am falling in love with it.

Following: Digital media trends – particularly in social media platforms. Social media platforms are changing so much, and it is all so interesting to me.

Thinking: Of what to prioritise over the next 2 years. Professionally advancing? Networking? Grad school? Business development? Writing my second book? Content creation? So many options. Need to pick and set my priorities.

Overthinking: Honestly, nothing. I am taking each day as it comes.

Admiring: A lot of my seniors at work. Brilliance allover. I am by far no longer the smartest person in the room. I am learning so much, and I am super inspired!

Opening: Up to new possibilities – making new friends!

Listening to: Wife Material by Phyzix ft Pon G. I dislike the phrase “Wife Material” so much because of the connotation of domestication specifically of women that surrounds it. I remember rolling my eyes so hard when I heard about the song coming out, and I just never gave it a chance.

“Mukadzafuna banja ife tilipo” (translates to “Whenever you wish to get married, I am available / consider me”) are my favorite lyrics. A patient man!

I was playing Malawian music in the background as I was working yesterday, and it randomly came on. Within a few seconds of listening, I was already sold – very Malawian elements in the beats and composition. I was pleasantly surprised to learn this song was not in any way about what we usually hear or expect to hear when people say the phrase “Wife Material”. It was mostly about praising how great she is, and that ‘he’ is ready for marriage whenever she is. Such a nice nice song!

Watching: Manifest on Netflix! Super happy to be able to watch Season 3!

The true Manifest fans know!

Grateful for: Life, and opportunities for growth.

I will be back very soon. I am still settling into this life – the transition is far more overwhelming than I anticipated. Thanks for your love, always.

All my love,


Connect with me on social media. Let’s stay in touch.

“Mukadzafuna banja ife tilipo” (translates to “Whenever you wish to get married, I am available / consider me”) are my favorite lyrics. A patient man!

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