First Payday Without A Paycheck | Post Employment

Yesterday was my first payday without a paycheck. I have officially been unemployed for one month now, and I spent the entire day writing YouTube captions, and making sure the links to my recent travel vlog were properly indexed in my blog and social media outlets.

At risk of oversimplifying what I do for a living – I really left my job to become a ‘YouTuber’. A parent’s maybe worst nightmare.

I have been an entrepreneur since I was about 17 – about 9 years now. I have been a storyteller all my life. I have tried and failed/succeeded at various types of businesses. I have been a media entrepreneur since I was 17 (blogging) and 21 (production).

I got employed 3 years ago, when I felt I need a bit of a financial push, and well, I guess my daddy wanted to see his little girl employed – and honestly who can blame him?

Why did I leave my job?

I did not leave my job because I hated it. I had a good job. By good – I mean that it was not taxing (pun-unintended) to me in any way. Besides losing my creative side to the job along the way, as I was usually drained and tired, I actually appreciated how peaceful the working environment at my office was. It was psychologically such a healthy space, and I will miss that with all of me. I hope I can create such an environment for people who work with me in future.

I wasn’t sure how I would feel when this day came. For the most part, I felt (feel) scared. I am not sad about my paycheck. As a human being (while acknowledging my privilege), I try to not exist driven by the pursuit of money. At the same time, if I am being honest – the money was barely there, but having a job was some form of security – a cushion of sorts. ‘If everything fails, at least I can bank on this’. Losing that cushion has been the scariest part.

Do I regret leaving my job?

No… or at least not yet. I am a crazy creative at heart. I am not made for a 9-5 job. My mind is always all over the place and cannot be tamed to exist still in one space for a long while – especially when it is not at my will. Employment, though a great opportunity and privilege, was a prison to my creativity.

Still, I am grateful for the opportunity to have served my country as a public officer for 3 good years. Even when I am aware I did not give my all to the service as my heart was always elsewhere – I am honored to have been trusted with this very great calling and opportunity to serve.

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What’s next?

I am grateful for the experience, and I excited to be going back to school.

I am most grateful for my parents’ support and understanding through this process, and I am optimistic about the journey ahead.

Please support my media dreams. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel.

All my love,

Ntha

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https://travel.byntha.com/amaryllis-hotel-blantyre/

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